Friday, February 5, 2010


I have gotten fed up with the attitudes, disrespect and disobedience from the boys around here, so I declared a smackdown. I decided to do what's necessary to put an end to it all! 2 weeks ago I sat the boys down and had a discussion with them about their behavior. I let them know what was unacceptable and what I expected of them and the consequences they would suffer if they crossed that line. They weren't very happy about the change being made. It's my fault really, I let it get out of hand. I gave them too many warnings and not enough follow through.

I decided for the most part that spankings aren't all that effective now at their age. Now I'm not ruling them out all together, there are still certain circumstances that would bring out the big paddle. But for what I am asking of them, spankings aren't the right form of punishment. I am taking privileges away until they have no privileges left! I am going to stand my ground and not put up with anything! They get one warning and that's it! I also decided that they will have to earn their privileges back by abiding by the expectations I laid out for them.

The first weekend of this was filled with lots of whining and crying, arguing and fit throwing. ( you can only imagine which did which ) They managed to lose ALL of their privileges! Every last one! With in only 2 days. Austin soon realized I meant business and by Monday I was getting "yes mames" and he was doing what I asked of him. He earned his first privilege back by Tuesday. Justin on the other hand planted his feet, stood his ground and just plain out didn't want to abide by my expectations. He has a mind of his own. He's my child who thinks he knows everything and thinks he can do things I ask of him on his own time. He thinks I have no brain and often rolls his eyes. He also gets a major attitude with me when he doesn't want to listen to what I have to say. He seems to think he already knows what I am going to say and doesn't want to waste his time listening to his mother.

I was a little worried about how the boys would get along since they were both grounded at the same time for a long length of time. You see, the last time they were both grounded at the same time for more than 4 days, they decided to occupy their time by talking poor little Ashlyn ( who was only 2) into letting them cut her hair, with Justin as the ring leader of course. They also fight a lot because they get sick of being around each other with nothing to do. But they did pretty well at first. About 5 days in on a Wednesday afternoon before we were to go to church they got into it! I was in my bathroom fixing mine and Ashlyn's hair when all of a sudden I heard this BANG! and BUMP! and a THUD! right over us through the ceiling. I quickly rushed out to see what was going on and both the boys come down the stairs crying. It only irritated me and I had no compassion for either boy. I'm still not sure what they were fighting about but Austin lost his one and only privilege he had and Justin recieved a black eye from his little brother.

They are getting better. I am finally starting to reap the benefits of putting my foot down and not putting up with it anymore. Austin has now earned back almost all of his privileges and Justin has earned back one privilege, lost one privilege and earned it back again. I need serious prayers for that boy. My goal is to have him under control before the teen years hit. I actually see a lot of me in him, but there is also a lot in him that I would have never done as a kid. That Justin is bold and not afraid to try and "pull one over on me". He is a sneaky kid, always trying to get his way wether it's honest or not. He seems to have a one track mind on a mission to get what he wants and to see what he can get away with. I don't know what my mother went through with me but I feel Justin is much worse than I was. At this point I wonder if he will ever earn all his privileges back. I so bad want this to be over, for Justin to "get it" and not fight me so hard through this. For it not to be miserable around here anymore. For everyone to have mutual respect for one another and to be able to have a pleasant time together. Why can't we all just remember the golden rule?!

Matthew 7:12 Do unto others as you would have them do unto you for this is the law and prophets.


The Byrd's Nest said...

Stick to your guns girlfriend...I have to do the same thing with Lottie periodically! She has gotten away with alot more in Costa Rica because we feel bad for her not having any friends...not being able to go anywhere etc. but we are doing this same thing right now. I'll pray for pray for me! <3

Jes said...

I am sticking to them! I am so glad I did, the boys are behaving so much better now. But now that I have the boys behaving well, I now realize how much of a brat Ashlyn is and how defiant she has become. I am starting in on her now. Good Luck with Lottie, I'll be praying for both of you too. Good Luck!