Thursday, June 24, 2010

The Big Three O

I had THE big birthday over the weekend. I turned 30. I don't think 30 is old by any imagination, but it's a age that for whatever reason I didn't want to turn. I miss the days of the teen years when I could eat whatever I wanted and still stay super skinny. I miss the days of being able to get up off of the floor without having to strain to get up. I miss the days of having endless amounts of energy and being able to function on little to no sleep. So, turning 30 just reminds me that it's all downhill from here. I will always have to watch what I eat, I will never again be able to sit on the floor and get back up with ease and I will snap at you or worse when I don't go to bed at an appropriate time. Getting older has brought on some new and better things, but you know me, I always seem to focus on the bad.

I was born on June 20 to a very young mother. I believe she was only 14 when she had me. Fortunately she made a very mature decision and gave me up for adoption. I will forever be grateful for that! My parents were able to come pick me up from the hospital and take me home just a couple of days after I was born.

I was raised as an only child, and I hated it. I know and understand that there are many different reasons why families only have one child, like my parents just couldn't afford to go through another adoption, but families who choose to only have one child just because they only want one irritates the fire out of me! That in my opinion is a very selfish thing to do. I was so lonely growing up, always dreaming of having a little sister. I never had anyone to play with or fight with or to learn to share with and love no matter what. I don't have anyone to share my memories with or to reminisce with what it was like growing up together. I never had anyone to get in trouble with or someone to blame my mistakes on :) I still wish to this day that I had a sibling that I am close to. Now, I do actually have 3 half siblings but they are all much older than me and we didn't grow up together and very rarely did I ever see any of them when I was a kid, so it's just not the same.

God blessed me though with very loving and christian parents that raised me in church. I felt I had the perfect childhood until my parents divorced when I was in middle school. After that, my dad moved far enough away that I didn't see him very often and really kind of wasn't a part of my life anymore. My teen years were rough years for me, and that was one of the times I desperately wished I had a sibling to go through all of that with. I leaned on the Lord for a time, but then I strayed only as most teens do and looked for the party crowd and for "love".

I met "the" boy just a week after I graduated highschool, I was still only 17. I fell in love with that boy and knew I would spend the rest of my life with him. We kind of did things backwards. We had a child together and then got married. I feel, that was like a wake up call from God, waking me up from my life of sin and re-establishing a relationship with him. I have absolutely no regrets having my first child so young. It has most certainly been a rough road, but I learned so much and my relationship with the Lord grew, which I know never would have happened if God hadn't allowed me to make those mistakes.

My twenties were full of having babies, growing our family and learning how to be a wife and mother. My twenties were rough as well as my teens were, but it was full of love and new beginnings. Everyone knows that new beginnings can be frustrating because they are new, you have never been through them before and therefore are learning new things all the time. I think my patience grew the most during my twenties. I have learned how to be a Godly, loving wife and mother. I have been tested over and over, sometimes passing with flying colors and other times failing miserably, but learning from every mistake I have made.

Now that I am 30, I no longer have any pre-schoolers in my home, it's all "big" kids around here. There are no more diapers, bottles, highchairs, sippy cups, naps, arm floaties or training wheels around here. In just a short 8 years, my oldest will have graduated from highschool, my middle son will be getting ready to start his junior year in highschool and my baby girl will be getting ready to move on up to 8th grade! In just a short 6 years I will be going through the dreaded pre-teen years with Ashlyn, so glad my girl was my last. So many more changes and new beginnings are in store for me. Here's to the next ten years! 40 here I come, you'll be here before I know it.


Nikki B. said...

SUCH A COOL POST!!! and happy, happy, happy birthday, jes!! love all the pics!

Jes said...